Pilsen, the land of flying turtles

What, you say, there is no such thing as a flying turtle?

Well, say I, I’ve seen evidence of flying turtles in Pilsen — as much evidence, that is, as I’ve seen of gentrification. You just have to look in the right places.

What, you ask, are the right places? Well, from Racine west to Damen, the right places are the dim recesses of your imagination and the fantasies of dimwits who are speculating on a turnaround in the area’s fortunes. Nowhere else in that part of Pilsen will you find any evidence of gentrification.

Now, if you want to hunt flying turtles in Pilsen, I’ve got some better leads for you.