Great moments in ad copy: "Surge into the 'red zone'" at 1738 North Winchester

1738 N Winchester Ave, Chicago 1738 N Winchester Ave, Chicago

IF YOU ARE READY-TO-ACT BUYER, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE YOUR ANTICIPATION IS GETTING READY TO SURGE INTO THE “RED ZONE”. HERE IS A HOME THAT HITS THE JACKPOT ON ALL KEY INGREDIENTS-LOCATION, ARCHITECTURE & SETTING. NO ATTENTION TO DETAIL WAS LEFT OUT. THE CURRENT OWNER SPENT HEAVILY TO ORCHESTRATE THIS RESIDENCE, LIKE THEATRE & ELEVATOR. LIVE HERE & WEEKENDS WILL REMIND YOU OF BEING ON YOUR VACATION AGAIN.

– From the listing for the 6,200 square-foot single-family home at 1738 N Winchester Ave in Bucktown, listed by Tony Zaskowski of Property Consultants Realty.

Since May 1, 2008, this bad boy has gradually dropped in price from $2.57 million to $1.74 million, or by about 32 percent. Just don’t forget about the $22,000 property tax bill.

It’s a good thing the home has four stories — that way you can create an entirely different feel from floor to floor, as evidenced by its “European-style kitchen,” a home theater straight out of a Maxell commercial (at left), and a basement showcasing the latest in castle keep fashion (right).

Oh yeah, there’s video, too!

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