Ah, it warms the Yo’s heart to see people of all different colors banding together in the streets to draw attention to an important cause. Perhaps they’re promoting racial equality? Social reform? World peace?
Okay, before we start conjuring up images of Dr. King’s March on Washington, we should tell you what really happened: a bunch of white kids got paid to roll around in paint and hawk booze on the street. Their cause: promoting National Flavors Day, a pseudo-holiday concocted to promote a new line of flavored Jose Cuervo tequilas. Oh, it’s wrong on so many levels, we don’t even know where to begin.
Promoters announce: “Hundreds of revelers – clad in summer gear – painted from head to toe in bright green, orange and blue, brightened the streets of New York City, Chicago, and San Francisco spreading the message of National Flavors Day and toasting this momentous occasion with the brand new Cuervo Flavored Tequilas from Jose Cuervo, the number one selling tequila in the world.”
The “revelers” were most likely a bunch of unemployed B.F.A. Method actors exchanging their dignity for falafel money. And the “message” of National Flavors Day? “Let loose, have fun and ensure it’s a summer truly like no other.” The only thing flavored alcohol ensures, of course, is that the guy behind the “Girls Gone Wild” videos is going to be making a lot of money for a long, long time.
The Yo’s own Nathaniel stumbled on the Bacchanal outside Wrigley Field and wrote about it in his Uptown blog, and we hear there were similar demonstrations in Wicker Park and on the Magnificent Mile. Okay, we can see these chuckleheads roaming around in the WP, but the Mag Mile? We wouldn’t be surprised to hear about a “reveler” getting maced by a frightened old lady walking out of Bloomie’s.
Oh, Jose. We’re switching to Sauza.
Let us know if you had an encounter with the painted people yesterday by clicking in “Comments” below.