Thanks to those of you who responded to my cry for help yesterday, when I blogged about the God-awful odor in the common hallway outside the condo I’m thinking of buying. Since then, we’ve investigated further and found out that there is allegedly a ventilation system on the roof of this building, but it’s only turned on once a day for a certain amount of time, because it interrupts the sleep of one of the other residents. The odor is apparently caused by the cooking of one particular owner on the first floor. Frustrated and angry, my husband has drafted a new contract. It reads:
I, the owner of the aforementioned unit, do reserve the right to, once daily, consume a sizeable portion of beans, before entering the condo of the aforementioned perpetrator of noxious odors, and depositing one fart in said perpetrator’s kitchen.
The second clause is as follows: I, the owner of the aforementioned unit, do reserve the right to, once daily, feed my full-grown Doberman a cocktail of legumes, broccoli and an assortment of cheeses, before leading said animal up the stairs and into the condo of the aforementioned alleged insomniac, and instructing said animal to deposit one or more items of fecal matter inside the alleged insomniac’s bedroom.
We think it’s a fair trade.
Our pettiness satisfied by our new contract, we continue to investigate this alleged timed ventilation system. Please keep letting me know your thoughts and suggestions.